Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
