Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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