on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
