Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
