Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
