Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
