Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
