Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
