Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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