I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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