Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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