You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The maid of honor just puked.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
