Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
