im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I love you. Go after that dick
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
