there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
