Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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