smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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