Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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