Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
