Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
