we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
