She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
