i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
