I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
