Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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