chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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