..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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