Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
