I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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