She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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