dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm always down for nudity.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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