You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
