She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
