Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
