i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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