to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
