You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
