Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
