And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
