Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
