He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
