the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
