i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
