I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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