Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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