Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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