im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
