You really coming over, don't trick.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
