we have officially lost it.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
