the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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